How to Validate Yourself

Something that I have been focusing on a lot on in my life is putting the energy back on myself. This means not looking outside of myself for validation and instead, appreciating and validating myself first. When you get used to outer circumstances giving you validation (likes on Instagram, the gazes of strangers, or achievements) when those things are removed from your life, it will create pain. Everything in life is temporary so placing your worth on things you can’t control will lead to a very conditional state of fulfillment. Do you ever notice at the end of the day a feeling of emptiness? I feel that way too and sometimes I don’t even know why. Once I start questioning my emotions, I notice that it usually comes from a lack of feeling validated that day. For some reason, my expectations of the outer world hadn’t met up to what I think I need to be happy. The truth is the outer world is all illusory because it depends on how we perceive it to be. This is the moment when we can take our power back by focusing our energy on what we CAN control, our inner world.

Try This

The next time you feel unworthy or unfulfilled, close your eyes and focus all of your energy on how it feels to exist in your body. Scan different areas from your feet, to your head. Notice your breath and where you feel your emotions. Is it a feeling in your chest or a tingling sensation in your feet and hands? This exercise is a form of mediation where you’re bringing your focus from that of the thoughts in your head to your physical body. Once you’ve done this, repeat some affirmations that resonate with you. This is what I do every morning in my mediation routine. It’s a great way to start the day.

I am good as I am. I do not need to be fixed or changed into someone else.

The love within me flows through me in every situation.

I am 100% worthy and complete

I don’t chase, I attract. What’s meant for me is simply mine.

I accept me as I am, and release the need for approval

The Male/Female Gaze

This is something I have noticed becoming a popular conversation amongst people recently. I can’t explain it very well so here is a description by https://studybreaks.com/
“The male gaze theory states that women in media are depicted from a heterosexual, masculine perspective that sexualizes and objectifies women. ... The concept is that, rather than exist independently for her own sake of being, the female character's purpose is for male viewing pleasure.”

I feel as though the value of the male gaze has been imprinted upon females from a young age. It can be very toxic if one is not aware of it. I think everyone is aware of it, however, it is rarely spoken about. Especially how it affects girls and the way they relate to their appearance. This is applicable to both sexes (or however you identify) however in general, I think females have struggled the most with being sexualized by the media.

My main message is for you to recognize that ALL of your beauty and worth is inherent, inborn. You are so much more than your looks, and I hope you can see all of that love and joy you are capable of radiating. This is sooo much more important than feeling validated by external factors. Don’t let the media’s focus on superficial aspects blind you from where the true beauty lies.